I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
