the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
