STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
