she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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