The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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