Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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