? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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