she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
FUCK WHALES
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
