Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
