Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You ruined the universe
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
