Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
