Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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