Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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