Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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