I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
