Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
