The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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