idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
