why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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