oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
