I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
