No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
