Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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