think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
