I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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