I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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