broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
