i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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