he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
