I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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