these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
