let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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