Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
