You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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