Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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