My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
