Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize