you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
