Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My penis needs a shock collar
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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