so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
