I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
