She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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