i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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