I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Bring me that man meat
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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