Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
