I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
