he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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