We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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