Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
