I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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