I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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