He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
