he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
