Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Randomize
