then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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