How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
