Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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