She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
