what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
