This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
