I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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